Where is the Love?
by • February 20, 2015 • Uncategorized • 0 Comments
I hope that you had a happy Valentine’s day! Is it just me, or does it seem that every year, the decorations and candy come out earlier and earlier? You see all the large stuffed animals and Valentine’s Day cards before we can even ring in the New Year.
This time last year, I was completing my internship and, like most students, was learning a lot about who I was as a person. It was during this time that I came across the concept of The Five Love Languages. I thought; this is fantastic! For those of you who have never heard of this, or need a refresher, the love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. We all prefer to give and receive love in different ways, which would seem obvious, but is easier said than done.
During internship, I worked with children and adolescents who suffered significant trauma histories. I wanted to find a way to incorporate the concept of The Five Love Languages into a music therapy session; not only to help them understand the ways they preferred to give and receive love, but to foster open communication about healthy relationships and love. With musical examples, they related lyrics to personal experience and brainstormed ways to foster new communication patterns that would express their wants and needs safely and constructively.
Music is relatable and communicative. It’s a way for us as humans to express ourselves. Hans Christian Andersen best and simply said, “Where words fail, music speaks.” So how does this relate to love? Everyone loves someone – whether it is a spouse, a child, a friend, a parent. Love doesn’t always have to be romantic. We are living in a day and age where it isn’t easy to love everyone and actions are literally starting to speak louder than words, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Research has shown that since the 1960’s we as listeners have been drawn to the same thematic elements used in music that speak to our emotion (Henard & Rossetti, 2014). So even though Valentine’s Day has passed, the opportunity to strengthen love and communication should be taken advantage of daily. I invite you to use the link below to find out your love language for yourself, your child, or both! Once you’ve determined your love language – I invite you to try using music as your medium of showing love. I have included some examples below.
Words of Affirmation – Give compliments using your child’s/spouse/friends favorite song lyrics
Acts of Service – Create a playlist of favorite music for your loved one
Receiving Gifts – Who doesn’t love a concert?
Quality Time – Going to an open mic night at a local coffee shop.
Physical Touch – Social dancing.
Henard, D.H., & Rossetti, C.L. (2014). All you need is love? Communication insights from pop music’s number-one hits. Journal of Advertising Research, 54,178-191.
